Law ... Not A Suggestion

Red Light does NOT equal blinking yellow arrow ... ugh!

Story: I was riding along minding my own business on one peaceful, yet busy afternoon. I get in the turning lane and wait for the green arrow to come on because it was so busy that no one was going on the blinking yellow arrow. Anyway, green arrow comes on and line starts moving. It turns yellow and then RED LIGHT! The car in front of me apparently did not understand because they barely even moved when the cars went ahead of them and there was a huge gap between them and the car in front of them, which is why they missed the light. But when the light turned RED, this joker moves up to darn near the middle of the intersection! You idiot! So the other cars have to maneuver around him to cross over and turn (there was a bit of construction on the side of us). Then when the arrow flashes yellow, the car in front of me turns immediately. He didn't even take into consideration the line of folks that were about to crash into him because he didn't follow the traffic rules. Man ... that would have been a terrible accident!

Now there was no accident, but I'm going to be honest. His actions did not help my feelings about Asian drivers over here. It's like they get over here and say f* your laws, I'll do what I want. And you can't stop me because I'll pretend as though I don't speak your language. How rude! And yeah I've heard the stories about women drivers, but because I am a woman driver (bus driver, I might add), I disagree that it's ALL women. I do admit that some of my fellow females DO need to just hand over the keys though ... Anyway, I have yet to see a good Asian driver, but I sure hope there's a few and that some day I can drive near them and quit being so disturbed when I see one behind the wheels of a vehicle. Geez!

Storm's A-Brewin'

So what is it about storms that gets people so rattled? I just don't quite understand it ... it's as if generations of us have been programmed to fear storms. I know storms can be dangerous but so is almost everything we do these days. When people hear that a storm is coming, they send out alerts to everyone like this is the one that's gonna wipe us all away. Well, I for one thinks it's high time we stopped that mess. Am i saying to not be cautious? No, but I am saying let's just ride these storms out. If you learn to enjoy the moment, it just may not be that bad. And here's how I do it:

Storms actually remind me of my childhood - it's one of those triggers like the music of an ice cream truck that sends my mind whirling back into the past. There's nothing quite like it because I get a flood of great memories and feelings that are there with me throughout the storm.  Every rumble of thunder and shatter of lightning aids in this moment of reminiscence. I think of all the nights when my aunt would call us all away from the TV, the phone, the randomness of solitude that we had escaped into. She would call us all into the living room to ride out the storm. The doors would be open (screen doors locked of course) so we would get the breeze in the house. All of those electronics would be off and we were there together, all in one space. These were some of the best times of my childhood because we'd talk, sing, and play games as a big family. This would go on for however long. Sometimes the storm would last so long that the adults would get tired of the noise and there would always be one last game ... the Silent Game. LOL! That was pretty much our cue to go on ahead and take a nap wherever you are - on the floor, on the couch, in some one's lap. I won most times because (being the eldest) I knew this secret and would immediately proceed to close my eyes and just take in the natural sounds and smells of the storm. It was sssooo relaxing! Oh the memories!

Now you may say that sounds so old-fashion with the whole turn off all electronics. Of course, we all now nowadays that those things aren't as dangerous as us Southerners used to (and sometimes still) make them out to be. BUT it's not about that; it's about the family time produced from such a thing. I can tell you one thing, I plan to do the same with my family. And no I don't plan on just doing family time during the storms ... that's not how I was raised. I am just saying instead of allowing my children to fear the storm, I plan to create a calm & relaxing atmosphere so that they also grow up with those memories of when the storm's a-brewin'.

Eve & The Hell That Followed

So everyone knows the biblical story about Adam & Eve. Adam came 1st, Eve was taken out of his rib, Eve ate the fruit and then gave it to Adam (who ate it too), they both lied to God and punishments were given out. This is when I see all Hell broke lose right? Wrong it was already here of course because Satan (the serpent) was already here. He was just waiting on his time. But anyway, that's not what I really wanna discuss cause yeah that's just not the topic of discussion in my head today. Today we'll discuss the following questions:

1. Why did Eve really eat that fruit?
2. Why did Adam oblige her & eat it too?
3. Why the 2 different punishments?
4. Why we should stop blaming each other & focus on the betterment of the whole?

Before I get started, let me ensure you understand that this is not biblical based and is not to be used in that way. These are just thoughts that I've been tossing around to help myself put it together in essence so that I may get to number 4. That is all. So don't put too much stock (if any) into what I'm about to say.

Now that that's out of the way ... here it goes:

Why did Eve really eat that fruit?

Yeah so many men like to blame Eve cause she ate the fruit first. Well, how about you not be so judgmental. Yeah she ate it first, but what made her do it. Was the serpent just that sly? There's a notion that the serpent tried to get to Adam first, but Adam was too busy about his work to pay the serpent any attention. Okay ... let's say I can agree with that. Logic would have it that Eve was distracted, which made her more susceptible to the serpent's tricks. Right? Eh, I'm not totally convinced of that. I think that Eve could have been going through some emotional issue dealing with Adam. He was a  very hard worker apparently so maybe he wasn't paying her enough attention. We all know that women crave the attention of their man (and some times others who aren't theirs). So that could be believable. OR it could be that she was made as the weaker vessel that needed more protection than Adam understood at the moment. Whatever the case was, maybe ... just maybe ... the serpent was able to somehow tap into that and provide here with whatever she was wanting because of her emotional nature. Maybe she wanted to better understand Adam to be a better wife ... the list could  go on. The point is maybe the serpent tapped into it and told her what she wanted to hear. He may have used this to lure her into believing that eating from the tree was a good idea and it wasn't as bad as she had been told. I'm not sure, but I'm thinking we're missing some vital info like when people cheat on a person that seems to be doing everything right; something is missing from the story that would explain not only why, but how it happened. I am in no way saying that the victim of the cheating is responsible. I am just saying that there were signs of a problem. That is all.


Why did Adam oblige her & eat it too?
I look at it this way. It was just the 2 of them plus the serpent right? Adam and Eve were husband and wife, which in my mind means best friends. Eve wanted to share everything with Adam just as he wanted to do the same with her. And although he knew it was wrong to eat the fruit, he didn't want to be left out of the loop on the new "revelation". His ego may have blurred his thinking and made him think that it couldn't be that bad since the woman hadn't already been struck dead after eating it. Maybe he had always wanted to taste it but didn't want to face the penalty so instead he waited the woman out too; figuring she would fall for it eventually, he could have a taste and blame it on her. Eh, I don't know. This is all speculative, but I think it has some validation solely based on how we are today.


Why the 2 different punishments?
They are 2 different people. It's like how parents know how to treat each child differently based on that child's personality and other life factors. I also think, based upon the punishments, that God held each one accountable for a different part in the disobedience. At the moment there's no need in focusing in on them for this discussion. The thing to focus in on is that the punishments have been built-in to our lives and that if we focus on Jesus then he'll take care of the rest.Who wants to dwell on a punishment anyway .. isn't the point to focus on doing what you need to do so that you don't repeat that again? And it's very clear that in this day and age we are to be seeking first the Kingdom and all other things will be given onto us (including understanding of that previous punishment). Just keep in mind that God is not focused on that punishment because he is looking at us through Jesus (whom has paid for that original sin).

Why we should stop blaming each other & focus on the betterment of the whole?
 Come on now ... don't you see it. We do better when we stick together. Haven't you ever heard the saying: "United we stand, divided we fall?" That's exactly what this is about. The devil is all about dividing families so that he might reek havoc upon them all. The best way to get back at him is to be supportive of one another and work on keeping God first so that he may fight that battle that you would never win on your own. Also, look at the main benefit aside from the spiritual ramifications: life is so much less stressful without that added pressure of placing blame and expecting someone else to make up for whatever it is. So stop blaming each other and work on how to get each other up to the next level ... lets encourage one another and quit the bashing!


That is all for now!

Gawkers: Just Pull Over

So there's been an accident or what have you, BUT it's not even on your side of the highway. There's no debris or anything. Matter of fact, from the looks of things, this accident happened so long ago that even the people involved have gone on about their way. BUT you sir/ma'am are STILL gawking. Why? Please answer that because seriously I don't understand it. And you don't only gawk, but you slow to a darn near crawl so everyone behind you is effected. Then as soon as you realize there is absolutely NOTHING to see, you speed off to catch up with normal traffic. Seriously?! So now it's a ripple effect. RIDICULOUS! The whole time traffic is extra slow, I'm thinking the worse .. someone is really hurt, it's a pile up, etc. But NO! That's not it at all (not in the present at least). As soon as I pass by the "scene", traffic is moving at an unexpected rate ... and I realize somebody was gawking wwwaaayyy in front of me. People! Come oooonnnn! Must you be so nosy? Do you  think you know the people in the accident and have plans to pull over to help if so? I mean really ... what is it? Are you an emergency responder and plan on stopping to help? Really ... I want to know what the deal is with that mess because it's annoying especially during those peak traffic hours. Just keep it moving please and thank you.

I Am Woman, Hear Me Roar

Or NOT! So most people think that that's my modus operandi, but is it really? I'm so tough that many would believe my husband if he was to say I beat him? Really now?! I mean don't get me wrong "I'll kill him dead before I let him beat me." And some may read this and wonder why I'd even put it out there - let people think it right? Well, some times a woman needs her soft moments - and this is one of mine (there may be quite a few over the next 7-8 months):

I am absolutely fearful of becoming somebody's mama!

You may be questioning why and how it's possible if you know how much I love children. Let me explain. Other people's children are just that - other people's children. I am not held responsible for your child in the long run of things. I can spoil them and give them right back to you. Even the few I have permission to discipline - I can discipline, but your kid doesn't hold it against me cause I can be less strict than you and they don't live with me. Aside from these things, I also wonder if we can even afford children. I've spent time with other people's kids - them jokers want everything. Not that I'll give my kid(s) everything, BUT I want to at least be able to provide the basics. My other issue stems from my own younger days in which most people know very little, almost nothing about. No I wasn't abused in any way, BUT it wasn't the most pleasant some days. And out of those unpleasant days grew my fear of having a child especially a daughter. I can't imagine going through that again from any angle!  Now my mom and I have a pretty good relationship, but back then - oh it was no secret that we had many, many issues. With all that said, I'm sure I'll be okay, but don't be surprised when sometimes I don't respond as excited as you may think I should about this. I'm seriously scared out of my mind! I also have a great support system so I'm really not as concerned as I would if I had any other family surrounding me and this baby. I am looking forward to this wonderful journey into and through parenthood ... woo hoo!

- End of Soft Moment -

Mother's Day & The Gift of Life

We had all of these elaborate plans and none of them quite worked out, BUT everyone was still pleased with the news in whatever way they received it. I have never experienced such a sense of emotional excitement. I mean when my husband proposed to me, I was excited & all, but I didn't have to hold the news in for any length of time. But this news, we held it in for almost a month and the anticipation had built up so much that once we told - it was like a rush! Not to mention, each response was different in their own little way. Our excitement has escalated greatly and we can't way for that day ...

Original Plans

(Blog that was to be published originally)

About a month or so ago, we found out that we were pregnant. No, we're not joined at the abdomen, BUT we shall share in this joy and pain that comes with childbearing. There are certain things that we both must stop for the next 8-9 months and he will ultimately be the one to have to deal with my emotional ups & downs, my random cravings, any sicknesses that may occur, and the inevitable breakdowns that will occur. So yes, we are pregnant!

Originally we had decided to tell everyone around my birthday, but as the days went by we knew we couldn't hold it in that long. Too many people were invested in us and especially us procreating so we finally settled on letting the secret out on Mother's Day. Oh what a day it would be! We'll definitely post the many responses soon since I won't actually post this until Mother's Day so that the surprise is not ruined.

Now because we are special, we can't just tell folks. Oh no. We had to come up with something even if just for a few. So here goes what we are going to do:

His folks have been hinting at grand-kids for some time now and the funniest hint was when his mom mentioned filling in her mantle of Christmas stockings; I just had to do something with that. So of course her gift will be a Christmas stocking with a lil poem to remind her of that hint. We'll be at dinner with his dad and sister so they'll find out then as well. My folks aren't necessarily as vocal, but I'm sure they'll be just as excited about the next generation. Each of them will get a poem based on my relationship to them delivered on Mother's Day as well.

Now the most interesting thing will be who opens their card first and calls me to verify. And if we can keep it on the low until we can tell the rest of the folks we know, that will be even better. The children will lead the way right? Heh heh heh ...

What Really Happened

The only person that received a poem was the original Mrs. A Moore. I wrote a few stanzas in her card so she'd be able to take it all in. It's her 1st grand and she's been hinting all along so had to do it up for her. After she finally read the card and began asking questions, Jason had to fill in his dad and sister so they'd know what was going on.

As for my family, I called them and told them beginning with my mom. She tried to play it cool, but she ain't fooling anybody. Everyone was quite excited and each response was special in it's on way. There was a lot of screaming in my ear and a lot of reassuring that I wasn't kidding on my part. Also, there was a lot of "What did you just say?" after me asking "You ready to be an auntie/grandma/grandpa/etc?" Funny!

After reaching as many fam as I could had to call & email the chosen fam (ie. special friends). One that I have to say wins for just the most classic response is from one of my lil ones. She's been asking for months now when the baby is coming. Pokes me or rubs my stomach every time she asks (btw she had poked me earlier in the day). This girl screamed the most excited scream ... I felt like I'd just given her $1 Million seriously. Then she started in with her requests and statements. Got a rattle for the baby. Don't care if it's a boy or girl. Can I go with you to the doctor? Can I hold the baby standing up? I mean this girl was going a mile a minute. Those are just the things I could remember from it, but I'm sure as the months progress, the list will become longer. 

Anyway, I just wanted to share one of the best Mother's Day Gifts that I think I've ever given anyone in my life. This baby will be the 1st grandchild on both sides ... shall we say spoiled?! YES! But not spoiled rotten; I will not have that. I am looking forward to this next journey in life and where it shall take me ... take us.

Personal Space Invaders ... Get BACK!

I have a problem with personal space or rather the increase in the number of folk who want to invade mine. Must you really be that close to someone when you're speaking with them? Must you sit that close to me with ALL of these other seats available? I'm just wondering what is with you personal space invaders?! Why is it that you feel the pull to be so close? Do you feel like I can't hear you from just another 6 inches away? Do you feel like I will care more about what you're saying if you're right in my face? Really what is it? Well I don't know and honestly don't care because it creeps me out & annoys ever fiber of my bones. I don't like people being too close to me, looking over my shoulder and such ... Nosy bastards! Seriously, back off!

But I'm sure you probably don't even know why you should back off so I'm start a list of why you should NOT be that close to me:

1. You might smell of rotten trash that's been sitting for a month in a closed space. Ugh! This smell may be emanating from your mouth, your arm pits, your butt, your body pores, or any combinations of these things. You may not smell it because you have become accustomed to your own stench, but trust me when I say that other people smell your stinky tail!
2. I might smell like a wet dog who's been rolling in your stinky rotten trash while little red ridin' hood is visiting me. Maybe I just finished working out and haven't had a chance to shower because the world would end if I missed my show. Who the heck knows? But trust I don't want you to be all up in my stench like that so back up. I'd hate for you to lose your life because of a bad intake of my polluted air funk.
3. People don't like nosy people - it could get you shanked. What if I am an undercover agent looking at some of my super secret spy stuff and I notice you just got a looksie because YOU decided to stand right up on me like that? Well, you could die because of course I may have reason to think you're a spy from the other side or that you may be a traitor or that you would just tell someone and it could cost ME my life. It doesn't really matter the reason; what matters is that it is preventable. So let's prevent senseless violence because in all honesty you're probably just a nosy behind prick that doesn't understand personal space and it's importance to a person's very being.
4. I could die because my claustrophobia may act up which could trigger me to hyperventilate and you probably don't know CPR or any other life saving tactics, which leads to my untimely death. And please don't let your heftiness contribute; it could suffocate me and you wouldn't know to move because uuummm you may think that's a normal reaction since you've been "noticing a lot of people doing that as of late". It could be the newest trend right? NO! Move! You big over-sized elephant.
5. Let me NOT just talk about the big personal space invaders cause you little people are just as bad. Move your skin & bones away from me. I don't want to feel your rib poking at my side. It disgusts me quite frankly - you need to go grab some neck bones & collard greens. Plus, you know people have self-image problems and your simple existence disturbs them so don't be that close to me - I could be one of them. Having folk go home to throw up the little food they ate or heck going home and not eating so they can be that small. It's a doggone shame. Move your skinny tail to that small corner that I couldn't fit in please and thank you.
6. And then there's this cultural thing that people like to mention. Some cultures value a closeness that I cannot understand. Well, I say I will respect your culture, but can you make an effort to respect my preference as well? Is it really fair that I just abandon my preference and be uncomfortable just because YOU prefer to be close to me? No I think not. We can make a compromise. If you speak to me I won't mind you standing a little closer than most, but by all means don't stand so close that you have to breathe on me - I hate when people do that!

That is all for now, but I'm sure this is not the end ... feel free to comment and add your own reason for why personal space invaders should GET BACK!

Disclaimer: This is based upon there being plenty of room. If the bus is crowded, no one is allowed comfort because we are all trying to get to our destination. So if your personal space issues flow unto a crowded bus, please get over yourself OR don't get on this bus. It has to be that way because life includes some compromises.

I'm Sick Of Your Voice, Find Your Actions

Finding your voice is cute and all, but I want you to find your action!

What are you gone do about it?!

Okay, okay ... I hear ya. You've finally found your voice. Great! I applaud you in your finding. I'm not sure how you lost it, but hey I guess that's not what's important. Well it probably is, but no need in dwelling in the past. The issue before us is now that you've found your voice, what are you going to do with it? If you're just going to talk about it, then honestly I'm pretty sure I want you to lose it again.Why? Because I'm sick of everybody just talking about stuff; do something because your voice without actions becomes mute to me.

I get you talking in the beginning - kind of a period of discovery. What do I sound like? What am I saying? Who am I with this voice? And I'm sure the questions go on. BUT it seems that they stop at some point and you become complacent. You have now become a bunch of talk with no bite. You talk about how this and that is an issue and how you would solve it, but you don't do anything. You've hosted and been in plenty meetings, but you never leave with an action item that will actually achieve something. Do you?

What is that all about? Seriously, I just don't understand why that has happened to so many people. I just can't believe you found your voice just to do nothing with it. In my heart of hearts, I believe you had an action plan when you were looking for your voice. Who or what through you off course? Was it all the adversity that I'm sure you've had to face in this search for your voice, your seat at the table? Was it the money or threat of a lack thereof that got you to clam up your actions? Somebody told you that your actions could lead to too much rocking of the boat and then you would be in some serious trouble with some highfalutin folk who you'd rather impress? Or is it that your agenda has changed due to some opportunity presented or taken away?

Inquiring minds are out here and we would love to be privy to what you plan on doing now that you've found your voice. So go ahead and use your voice to inform us. We're waiting ... 

Exploding Personality - What's the Deal?

So what's up with all the exploding personalities? Why are you so wound up? The smallest things are immediately magnified in your presence. Is everything really that serious? I doubt it. You just playing the "hard" role and you're the biggest punks out there. You're not hard so stop blowing up as though you're going to do something about it. When it's all said and done, you just punk out like every other time. So do the rest of us a favor and just shut up.

You gone blow up at this too eh? You don't even know me nor do I you - I just know your type. And quite frankly, I just wish y'all would just shut up and roll over in the beginning instead of going through all of the fireworks. Seriously, it's real annoying to those around you and it gets old fairly quickly. Do you wonder why people no longer even flinch when you say something? That's why - you won't back it up so step aside.

I'm not saying roll over and play dead. I'm not saying let people walk all over you (I am absolutely AGAINST that). I'm just saying find out who you are, embrace it, and be true to that. We all know you just frontin' when you start your whole woe-is-me-the-world-is-coming-to-an-end rants anyway. I'd appreciate if we could just skip that and get to what you're going to do about it. If you gone actually do something, then be about it & hop to it. Otherwise, spare your voice box boo!

Let It Go

Not only am I going to talk about life and the lessons that should be learned from it, but I'm also going to discuss how to organize your life for a less stressful future. I'd say a successful future, but I don't hold your destiny in my hand. I'm just going to politely offer up some suggestions, which  you can take or leave. If it helps just one person, then I'm calling it good. So here we go:


First thing's first: Let's discuss THROWING THINGS AWAY! Yes, I yelled it because there are so many people out there that just can't let stuff go. Honestly, I feel like they are the same folks who hold on to grudges and hurts that eat away at your soul. It's not healthy for you or those around you. So please for at least others' sake, let it go.

And no - I'm not saying throw everything away. I'm saying, you have to get rid of unnecessary things that you don't even use anymore. It's taking up space all because you want stuff. Is it worth it? Is collecting stuff fun? Do you enjoy it? Why? [Collectors, I am not talking to you. You apparently enjoy collecting whatever it is that you collect. You cherish those things right? So that means they are not unnecessary in your world so collect away (not really, but that's another post).] What about those that don't do it for fun? I've heard all types of legitimate excuses, but keep in mind that an excuse is just that - AN EXCUSE.

"I might be audited": Scan & file accordingly.
"I might need to look at it again some day": When? Why? File it accordingly then.
"I'm saving it for my future child(ren)/grandchild(ren)": NO! Rarely is this even worth it ... think about it.

I'm sure there are many other excuses out there, but these are just a few that really ruffle my feathers. It's ridiculous how people have such an excruciating time letting things go; and this includes not only stuff, but people, ideas, etc. Understanding that letting go is a process, I will not say that it is an easy one, BUT it is absolutely necessary to life! Come on people let's get it together!

In the Beginning ...

When I first created this blog, my objective was to gripe and just talk about the funnies of the cloffice. However I realized the following:

1. I don't gripe enough to be successful at it;
2. While the cloffice is interesting, it's only REALLY funny in context so writing about it is limited;
   
3. Other aspects of my life are sometimes so much funnier and easier to to write about; and
4. Life is not only about griping & laughing - sometimes life is REAL serious
   

... so I decided to take my own advice and set it to zero.

You may be wondering about this previous blog as well as what "set it to zero" even means so  feel free to check out the link to the previous blog. It only has a few days of stuff, but you get the gist of where it was headed.

For those who wish not to go through all of that for the meaning of "set it to zero", see below:

Set it to zero means to do a soft reset and start back at your last known good configuration. Over your head? Well, basically look back to before you started tripping (or your situation got out of control) and figure out how you got to where you are so you can get out of it. Still don't get it? Well, it's about getting to the root of the problem. If you know the root(s), you can solve the problem.